Conversation with Ego

Do something!

What should I do?

Do something about survival.

What should I do?

Look at your budget. Look at your calendar. Check your email. Something. Anything!

Am I a human being, or a human doing?

If you don't do something, you could die. You can't just sit around all your life. After all, you are starting a new business. The future is extremely uncertain at this point. You have to do something!

I am observing the Stopping Day of I Am Your God. And to tell the truth, I think I need it. This non-stop business starting is a bit maddening.

Yes. The Stopping Day of I Am Your God. I like that. It's clever. Who else but you would come up with such an original and intent-filled expression for your day of rest?

Mmm. Yeah. It sure is a pretty day today. This week has been pretty hot, but today has been in the room temperature range all afternoon. The kids have been delightful playing outside all day.

Is that allowed on the Sabbath?

Am I allowed to say, “Get behind me, Satan?”

Yeah, that makes you sound like Jesus.

No, thanks. Then I will just say I don't really care whether it's allowed for them to play or not. That's not my business. My business is to love them and delight in them.

That guy looks like he has a beer in that bottle.

Yeah. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. I can't tell.

You never drink.

Well, maybe I just will. Don't get so self-righteous so easily. Did you even notice he is out with his daughter playing catch? Did I do that today?

I didn't notice.

That's okay. Nobody notices everything. And now he came over to check on some whining puppies. I just don't think beer or no beer is going to cut it as a status symbol for me. He seems like a wonderful person as far as I can tell. I think I can learn a lot from him.

You gave a great smile to that little boy on the bicycle. You are a blessing to this apartment complex.

We all are. We all are blessed to be here together. He is a blessing to me. I am a blessing to him. I'm no different than anybody else.

But you are superior. You come from a noble heritage. You are an Eagle Scout. You are conservatively dressed. You are clean cut. You don't smoke. You have an education. You use beautiful language.

Do those things make others happy? Comfortable? Comforted? Loved?

Sure, they do. See. That dad just cursed. You don't do that.

I'm not going to argue with you. Arguing seems only to strengthen you. I'm going to turn my attention to the delightful things around me. I hope to eat. I hope to sleep. I hope to use the bathroom. Just like every other being on the planet. Enjoy me being normal.

Talks with God 1

Oh, Master of the Universe, do I try to control E?

Well, you do think she is making a terrible mistake to walk away from your marriage.

Yeah.

And you do wish there were something you could do to keep her from making that mistake.

True. So just thinking it is controlling her?

In your limited perspective, you still believe that your thoughts are separate from your actions. Aren't those thoughts you have thoughts of control?

Yes. I suppose they are. But how can E tell? She can't read my thoughts.

You really do believe that thoughts are separate from actions. You would not believe me if I told you that she can read your thoughts.

I think I know what you are saying. That my actions are no different than my thoughts, and so by reading my actions, she is reading my thoughts. So how can I change my thoughts? I have been fancying that I am all finished with this controlling business. I have always fancied that I had no interest in controlling other people.

Well, obviously you have fancied fancifully. Isn't it possible that you are still controlling?

Based on what you said above, yes. I am still in my thoughts wishing I could keep her from acting the way she is acting.

And so you wish she had no agency.

Oof. That hurts. OK. So I am a minion of Lucifer.

That's not what I think.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. You're good. Personally, I'm happy that she is free to do walk away from you. I think she rocks.

You know. I fancy I understand that. Thanks for letting me hear it. Maybe it is soaking in.

It's true that you, my children, act in ways that are not in harmony with the complete knowledge and understanding I have. You act in ways that are in harmony with the knowledge and understanding that you each have. Do you believe that?

Well, there isn't any reason why I shouldn't, I guess. Oh. Well. Actually, I sense something from my childhood that says some people intentionally act out of harmony with the knowledge and understanding they have.

You believe E does that?

Oh, that really, really hurts. Are you suggesting that I believe she is evil?

If you believe that one person is evil, you believe that all people are evil. Let me put it this way. You have drawn an artificial distinction between yourself and others, and between each person around you. Though you don't understand fully the meaning of this, I tell you truly that you are all and each my children. Do you believe that you yourself act out of harmony with the knowledge and understanding you now have?

To tell the truth, I am not sure. But I know one thing for sure. I sure as heaven don't want anybody putting their thumb on me and hindering me from figuring it all out on my own terms.

Heh, heh. You rock too. So how do you think E or any other person feels about having you put your thumb on them and hindering them from figuring it all out on their own terms?

To be totally honest, Lord, that is hard, uh, doctrine, if I can use that word.

You can do anything you want.

You rock. I want to be like you when I grow up. I want other people to feel around me like you just made me feel.

Then you would have to honestly believe in them the way I believe in you.

OK. But about the hard doctrine, are you trying to tell me I shouldn't be hindering anybody in figuring things out? I mean, what about, oh, what about all the pain and suffering in the world? I feel silly asking this.

Yeah. You're the pacifist.

I guess I'm a pretty weak one. In my heart I want to rule the world.

Don't be too hard on yourself. That's about how it goes when you become a human. Many people go so far as to say I want to rule the world.

OK. So you don't want to rule the world, and you don't want to rule me, and you don't want to rule E, and E (and S and so forth) will feel controlled and dominated by me as long as I continue to want her to act differently, or to be something other than she is or to do something other than she does. I should just enjoy her!

You can just enjoy her!

I stand corrected. I can just enjoy her! Enjoy her being herself, single, dating others, or marrying me again, with me or away from me, hating me or loving me, frustrated or serene, sad or happy. I can just enjoy her.

Yes, you can.

Thank you for teaching me the way of happiness.

I always will.

I better work.

OK. :-)

I'm sending this to E.

OK. Tell here I love her especially.