Stop Hemorrhoid Pain Permanently in Three Days

Mark your calendar now.  If you don't have freedom from hemorrhoid pain and the beginning of permanent healing in three days, we need to talk.  All you need to do is push less and pull more for the rest of your life--starting right now. And for the rest of today and the next three days, you need to study, ponder, and explore all the nuances, aspects, implications, meanings, feelings, costs, rewards, and discoveries of pushing less and pulling more.

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.

Henry David Thoreau

This is not something you will forget to do.  How could you forget when you are in such debilitating pain?  All you need is understanding and practice beginning right now.  Dozens of people from all over the world have been saved with amazing speed from excruciating hemorrhoid pain and have found eventual complete healing by implementing these simple insights (see comments under all my hemorrhoid posts).

Exercise 1, Note Your Posture Now:

Do all the following simultaneously.
a. Lift your chest high; don't be shy.
b. Flatten inward the place between your navel and your crotch by pulling and lifting from within.
c. Flex your buttocks/bottom/gluteal muscles.
d. Note the difference of the feel of your clothing on your waist, your shoulders, and your chest.
e. Note the new position of your shoulders, chest, navel, buttocks/bottom/gluteals, and spine.
f. Return fully to your previous posture.
g. Note the hemorrhoid-prone feel of your body and your clothing.
h. Lift and pull again. Note again the lifted and flexed feel of everything.
i. Do your best to relax without returning completely to a hemorrhoid-prone posture.
j. Repeat all of the above both standing and sitting.
k. Speak aloud to yourself or a companion about what you just discovered.
l. Make written notes about what you just discovered.

Comments: Your abdomen contains a large volume of organs.  Just try listing several of them. You are prone to hemorrhoids when this volume of organs is slumped against your rectum all day.  When you lift your chest and lift your internal organs out of the area between your navel and your crotch, you relieve the pressure that causes hemorrhoids.  Is it any wonder that the colloquial expression for improving your posture is to "suck in your gut"?  You need to understand how this feels so that every time you wince in pain or in the memory of hemorrhoid pain, you can correct your posture and gently pull.  Don't overdo it; you don't want to hurt yourself.  But you need to stop pushing all day long.

Exercise 2, Note Your Clothing Now:

a. Pull as explained in Exercise 1.
b. Squirm, dance, and move your legs, waist, back shoulders, arms, and head while you are pulling.
c. Continue for up to 1 minute dancing while pulling.
d. Note the fit of your clothing.
f. Consider whether you need to make clothing changes (see comments).
e. Speak aloud to yourself or a companion about the role of your clothing in your hemorrhoids
g. Make written notes about your required clothing changes.

Comments: You may need to add a belt or suspenders.  You may need to loosen or tighten your belt or your suspenders.  You may need to raise or lower your belt.  You may need to tuck or untuck your shirt or blouse.  You may need to take in your elastic or cloth waist with a knot, a pin, a clip, or a thread.  You may need to practice a new fit.

Exercise 3, Hydrate Now And Forever:

a. If you have not already drunk 2 quarts/liters of water today, get 1 quart/liter of water now. Fill your belly now and finish the rest as soon as you can.  Substitute another wholesome drink for water if necessary.
b. What color is your urine?  Resolve to note the color of your urine as a part of your hemorrhoid cure.  You want your urine to be the color of very pale lemonade, not the color of apple juice.
c. How often do you urinate? You may need to drink enough to urinate every 2 to 3 hours.
d.  Resolve to drink enough water to keep your urine regular and your bowel movements soft.

Comments:  You need to limit your pushing time for bowel movements to less than 30 gentle seconds total per day.  This means that you should push less than 15 gentle seconds for each bowel movement.  This is not possible if you are constipated.  As popularized by the Master Cleanse Salt Water Flush, drinking water can in the extreme case induce a somewhat prompt bowel movement.  In the daily case, drinking sufficient water helps keep your bowel movements soft.

Exercise 4, Tone Your Pulling Muscles:

So far you understand what it is to pull more (see my other hemorrhoid articles if you are not sure yet).  You have resolved any immediate dehydration, and you understand that you need to stay well hydrated to keep your bowel movements easy.  Now you need to start toning your muscles.  This will be easy to do in the next few days as you feel and remember your pain.  Right now you just need to learn and practice.

a. Lift and pull intensely.  Even your eyebrows, eyes, and face may lift in solidarity. :-D
b. Keep lifting and pulling for a couple of seconds.
c. Relax
d. Take the time to repeat a few dozen (say 50) times.
e. Use this exercise every time you remember or feel hemorrhoid pain.

Exercise 5, Correct Your Bowel Movement Habits:

Follow this procedure and suggestions for your bowel movements. Try it, then return and read it again.  Read it and try it until you master it.
a. Inspect your toilets.  Remove all reading material.  Explain to your companions if necessary that this is a medical necessity for you.
b. Resolve to do nothing that may prolong your sitting for bowel movements.  Do not use your bowel movement sitting for meditation, escape, rest, reading, toilet paper preparation, or even urination.
c. Consider sitting separately for urination and bowel movements to delineate clearly the 15 seconds of sitting and pushing you are allowed for a bowel movement.
d. Consider using the bathroom to pass gas without sitting on the toilet.
e. Prepare your toilet paper in your hand before sitting and pushing.
f. Before you push, place your chest, shoulders, or upper arms on your knees.  Rest your arms on your calves, ankles, or feet. (See Quickfasting: How to BM).
g. Count while you push gently.  (Tip: To significantly reduce odor, flush after about 5-10 seconds.)
h. Quit pushing as soon as you get significant results, or at the count of 15 seconds.
i.  DO NOT attempt to get 100% results, no matter how much urge you may continue to feel! DO NOT DO IT.  See comments.
j.  Immediately begin pulling with all your might.
k. Begin wiping/cleaning.
l. Lift your bottom while keeping your shoulders down.  Repeat this lifting action a few times if it helps you pull.
m. If you have external lumps, or if it seems that part of your colon has pushed outward, relax your pulling a bit while you tuck it all gently inside with your hands as you wipe/clean (*oof!* I will be *wince!* better in no time).  Do all this while your bottom is up and your shoulders are down.
n. When you are mostly pulled back together, stand up and continue to lift and pull as you dress.
m. Continue to pull and lift as you wash your hands.
o. Stay in the bathroom lifting and pulling as long as you need before you continue your life.  Now is the time to sit on the toilet if you want to meditate, escape, rest, read, or urinate. (Oh, yeah, you had to do that too!)
p. If you are at home and in special need, lie down for a few minutes while pulling.
q. If you did not get significant results due to constipation, see comments.

Comments:
Sitting vs. squatting. Ideally, you would squat for your bowel movement, and a 10-second squat would not be very hard to endure.  Keep this in mind as you reduce your sitting time for a bowel movement.  Yes, you can cure your hemorrhoids without giving up your pampered sitting toilet.  But you must not sit pushing for a bowel movement any longer than you would want to squat for a bowel movement.
Resisting the urge.  It is essential that you resist the urge to push longer than is required to get significant results, or for 15 seconds maximum.  DO NOT try to evacuate everything from your colon.  Remember that your hemorrhoids are in there giving you false urges, a self-perpetuating problem.  Start pulling immediately and do not stop pulling until you can go about your life without indulging the urge to push.
Constipation. Constipation is a serious and generally an urgent medical condition. Do a Master Cleanse Water Flush (use whatever water and salt you have available).  If that does not work, do it again with much more water.  If that does not work, try enema, Fleet's enema, and suppositories.  If none of that works, get emergency medical care immediately.  See How My Grandma Cleared My Grandpa's Constipation and Avoided Surgery and ideas 3 through 6 at Free and natural hemorrhoid cure and prevention ideas list.

Exercise 6, Examine Your Diet To Stop Constipation:

a. If you are rarely or never constipated, skip this exercise.
b. Eat like Grandma would want you to.  You must have fruits, vegetables, whole grains, or legumes or all of the above to avoid constipation.  Even with my wonderful diet, a single large plate of white rice can cause trouble.  Enough said.
c. Decide on a single significant change you can make to your diet within your tastes and budget.  Discuss with your companions.
d. Do it.

Comments:  You can switch economically from cold cereal to oatmeal, from ramen noodles or white rice to brown rice, from meat to beans entirely or partially.  Whoever you are, if your diet needs improvement, you need creativity and drive more than you need money, time, or will-power.

Exercise 7, Fix It All Permanently:

a. Buy or rig whatever you need so that your clothes fit right when your posture is best.
b. Do pulling exercises and posture checks every time you remember hemorrhoid pain.
c. Drink enough water to keep your urine light and your bowel movements soft.
d. Never again push for a bowel movement while you meditate, read, rest, escape, or urinate.

Push less.  Pull more.