Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Emotional Aspect of Sexual Attraction

Last Spring I noticed with curiosity that I was experiencing sexual attraction and that it seemed to have a component of emotion that strengthened it. Since I wasn't interested in the least in complicating my life, or as I was expressing it, get more family, I decided to observe myself to see what I could learn.

As I observed and carefully separated out the emotional aspect from the physical aspect, I gradually became aware that what I was experiencing was a fantasy of crawling into the bosom of the romantic other. In other words, a large part of sexual attraction was the notion of finding a romantic other into whose bosom my wounded child could crawl for eternal nurturing.

My wounded child wanted a perfect parent. And it idealized the romantic other as a perfect parent. Visions of romance with the other included elements of an escape or a rescue.

On clear observation, I easily saw such notions as mirages. And the mere observation of them seemed to dissolve them. It was obvious to me that there is no perfect parent walking around disguised as a potential sexual partner. And when I saw a woman as attractive, there was no longer any delusion about any such bosom for my wounded child. Thus the emotional aspect of sexual attraction vanished *poof*, and my personal happiness in my current situation gained another key of truth.

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